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White Sand and Stone


Nearly six years ago, almost to the day that I’m creating this, I was at the lowest point I’ve ever been in my life. Angry, confused, heartbroken and alone. I was on the floor of my Motel 6 room telling myself that I didn’t need to get up if I didn't want to. I didn't need to grab something to eat if I didn't want to.  I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow if I didn't want to.  I didn’t have to do ANYTHING anymore, ever again, if I didn’t want to.

At this time I had recently lost “POPS”, Walter POPS Carvahlo; my fight coach who had passed away suddenly just after he had trained me for the biggest fight of my life. He was like a father-figure to me. Around this time I also asked my then wife for a divorce because I realized that we had drifted apart and our situation, despite 18 months of couples therapy , was beyond repair. I thought it was noble to choose divorce over continuing to pretend to be happy but most of the people in my camp didn’t agree. As a result I lost many of my close friends, disconnected from most of the people in my family and without the regular access I was use to having with my kids; 

I was suddenly and utterly all alone.

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I know what it’s like to be abandoned and betrayed by people you once loved.

I know what it's like to want to tell your side of the story only to realize that no one's listening.

I know what it's like to feel like you have no control over your own life. 

I know what it's like to be desperately seeking answers and having no one to turn to for  advise or guidance.

I know what it’s like to left alone, lost in the dark; knowing in your heart that no one is coming to save you. 

Eventually I learned how to F.I.G.H.T. my way out of the darkness. I learned how to grow stronger, build and protect my energy, gain clarity and turn my pain into purpose. I also learned how to sit in the fire, how to burn broken bridges, how to ask for help, how to practice forgiveness, how to take accountably and how to receive grace. 

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It took me about 6 years of work, reflection and growth to put these lessons together in such a way that I could build myself back up into the man you see today. Along that journey I learned that there are hundreds of thousands if not millions of good men going through the EXACT same thing that I've been through. The same things you might be going through right now. These are hard working men with families, important jobs and heavy responsibilities who are essential to the maintenance and growth of our society. Now, I can't help all of them, no one person can but chances are I can help YOU!

I’ve been to the abyss. I stared my enemy directly in his eyes, I’ve battled him victoriously and I’ve come back with the blueprint of how you can do the same.


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